I was very productive today and found myself with less depression symptoms that usually get in my way. I love the days that I just do what needs to be done without analysis or head trips - sounds so simple, right? Well, if you have major depression with bipolar tendencies, it's not. I still don't understand this completely but what I have learned leads me to believe that I sabotage my own life and when I'm not happy about it I create a new adventure that in the past included a geographical move and career. Since I'm living more consciously now, this isn't an option.
Yesterday I felt mania for the first time in about a year (maybe less). The feeling is that everything is possible and I only have to step outside to make it happen. In these episodes I usually conceptualize and start projects, contact people I haven't talked to in a while and make plans such as a trip. I called my mother yesterday, who also lives in San Diego County, and gave her my support to visit my sister and her family in Los Angeles. I offered to drive her there and even have a little fun with her there. My sister and I don't have a relationship and I've been banned from being able to drive my mother to her house even if it was on the street at the bottom of her driveway so we would need to arrange for her to pick up my mother from a nearby Starbucks - isn't that fun?
I am a huge proponent of my mother broadening her horizons, especially after my father's death in late 2008. She isn't a traveler and it's difficult for her to do anything on her own with the exception of driving in a 2 mile radius to get coffee and groceries. My sister has been resentful of my time with my mother though she doesn't make time to see her very often herself. I would love for my sister to cultivate an adult relationship with our mother so that she can emotionally grow up as far as our family is concerned. She holds onto all the negative feelings of abandonment and neglect by my parents and has transferred them all to me. It's complicated, what can I say?
Though the mania episodes scare me because I've been living the downside of having done this throughout my adult life and it's been very, very painful. I can look back logically and ask myself why I moved my life so many times while creating a financial paper trail along the way but the fact is I didn't have control over this and I can't undo the past. What I can do is be cognizant of the triggers and the episodes that cause the need to completely change my life in one fail swoop.
FOOD
I am addicted to the cucumber and carrot maki sushi! It's so amazingly good and I can eat it - yay! I've also been adding a serving of steamed edamame that really helps to fill me up. I do need to be concerned about the sodium even though I use the low sodium soy sauce. I need to study the relationship between sodium intake and hypertension. I may need to cut back on this favorite meal to once a week...or even once a month.
Yesterday I was in the house all day so I took the opportunity to slow cook green beans with tomatoes and onions as well as roast pencil thin asparagus - both recipes are at the end of the post. I really enjoyed the process and as usual, learning more about the cooking technique especially because I don't include oil. Both dishes had so much flavor and I ate a lot of them.
As the title of this post indicates, I've been all about condiments in making recipes and finding a way to love everything I eat. In addition to the discovery of the World Harbors' sauces, I've been collecting pickles and mustards - wonderful, flavorful, awesome mustards.
Pickles
I find that having an assortment of pickles really cuts down on my need for bad snacks. The flavors explode in my mouth and really satisfy cravings of all kinds. I currently have the following pickles in my refrigerator:
- Bubbies - large - garlic flavor (their normal flavor)
- Famous Dave's Spicy Sweet & Sour - pickle chips
- Famous Dave's Spicy Sweet & Sour - spears
- Claussen Dill - halves
- Vlasic Dill - spears
- Mt Olive - Mexicana spears
- Del Monte gherkins - baby
Mustards
I haven't been eating sandwiches even though I have the Ezekiel bread - I usually toast it and put jam on it instead. Today I found a fat free vegetable based bologna by Smart Choice that I plan to use in a sandwich so that I can use any one of the mustards I have along with lettuce, tomato and onion. I do use a few of the mustards in various recipes such as the yellow jalapeno in my bean dip - it has such a wonderful sharp flavor and it gives the dip such a kick (the jalapeno is chunky as a relish). When I'm craving something and I don't want to make anything I will stand at the refrigerator and squirt the mustards on my finger and eat it by itself - wow!
Here are the mustards I currently have in the house:
- Sweet Hot Dijon - without soybean oil
- Yellow Jalapeno
- Yellow Habanero
- Stout Ale Ground Dijon
- Chipotle
- Yellow
- Dijon
- Honey Dijon
I know I'll be collecting these over time because they have so much flavor. One thing I have to be careful of though is the use of soybean oil. Many of the flavored ones in the store include this so I only buy the ones that don't have it in the list of ingredients.
What I ate today:
- Fruity Smoothie
- Cucumber and carrot sushi
- Edamame
- Pretzel sticks
- Soy cappucino
- Fiesta Bean Salad (see Day 8 post for recipe)
- Pickles
- Crudite with Taco Dip (see recipe below)
- Red plum
- Red grapefruit
- Caraway crackers
- Kashi's cinnamon harvest cereal (dry)
_____________________________________________________________
RECIPES
FF Asian Roasted Asparagus
Ingredients
- Asparagus - 2 bunches of pencil thin stalks, trimmed at bottom
- Soy Sauce - low sodium
- Garlic powder
- Sea Salt
- Cracked Pepper
Instructions
- Heat oven to 350 degrees
- Line baking pan with foil
- Lay stalks landscape position spreading them out as much as possible (okay that they will be in layers)
- Sprinkle soy sauce over stalks
- Sprinkle sea salt over stalks
- Crack pepper over stalks
- Roast in oven for 25 minutes (longer if stalks are thicker)
- Let cool in pan for 5 minutes or so and EAT!
Parts of the asparagus will be caramelized with the soy sauce - what a treat!!
I also used this as the base of my FF Asian Cream of Asparagus Soup recipe - you basically just need to puree the asparagus, add soy or almond milk to thin somewhat (to taste, that is), adjust seasoning, if necessary, and EAT!
----------
FF Spicy Slow Cooked Green Beans & Tomatoes
Ingredients:
- Green Beans - as fresh as you can get them (I like to use the smaller, thinner haricort vert)
- Garlic - thinly sliced
- Ro-Tel Diced Tomatoes with Jalapenos (to reduce the spiciness, buy the Ro-Tel with mild green chilies)
- Vegetable Broth (with no fat added)
- Tomato Paste
- Onions - sweet or red - long diced (to taste - I like a lot)
- Garlic Powder
Instructions:
- Dry Saute garlic and onions (quickly so as not to burn)
- Add everything else but green beans
- Stir to incorporate all ingredients
- Add green beans and fold into sauce
- Bring to a slow boil, reduce heat to medium low & cover
- Cook for 1 hour, stirring once or twice in that time
- Serve and EAT!
Notes:
- This is a great side dish or can easily become a entree by serving it over mashed potatoes, rice or pasta.
- The younger the green beans, the more "melt in your mouth" they become.
- You could also add quartered mushrooms - I made a mental note to add them next time I make this dish
--------------
Taco Dip (see 'Notes' section for 'Vegie Taco Dip' version)
Ingredients:
- Silken Tofu - typical 10oz package
- Taco seasoning package (make sure there's no whey/milk product or oil added)
- Lemon juice from one fresh lemon (or fresh lime) - roll the lemon/lime roughly on counter before cutting to get as much juice out as possible (I cut up the remaining parts and put in the garbage disposal and give it a whirl to freshen and sanitize it)
- Apple cider vinegar - about 2 tablespoons
- Hot sauce - Tabasco or any other favorite sauce
Instructions:
- Put all ingredients in a container where you can use a hand immersion blender or in a food processor (mixing this by hand will prove to be difficult but can be done with patience though you probably won't get the smooth texture desired)
- Mix/blend until all ingredients are incorporated and the consistency is very smooth
- Refrigerate for a few hours before serving to help flavors to meld (you can eat this right away too but it's just not as flavorful)
Notes:
- I've never been a big tofu fan but lately I have been wanted to try this dip because my brother made something similar (his had a little bit of vegie oil) in 2009 and it was fantastic.
- Once the dip is made you can add in minced fresh cilantro, onions and tomatoes (without the seeds/juice) - I call this 'Vegie Taco Dip.'
No comments:
Post a Comment