Ok, so much for the colon issues. Other than that I have been pleasantly moving forward with my creative endeavors - actually planning. I haven't planned activities in a long time due to my health other than seeing my mother, brother, niece and nephews every week. It's been very hard for me to plan to interact with people, especially people I don't know. I'm not afraid, just not interested in building relationships of any kind. Necessity will and has changed this somewhat in that in order to build a business I'll have to interact with vendors and customers - I'll take it one step at a time.
This week was a lot less work toward figuring out what to eat. I think I've found what I like and I'm likely to eat nearly the same thing every day except when I'm with my family. I also think I'm eating more than I need to because I feel so bloated and I don't feel as light as I did the first week of eating this way. I realize I'm still in transition internally so I'm trying very hard to squelch my old eating disorder mental trips like eating as little as possible and not eating past 4pm. I do need to meal plan more so I'm cognizant of the nutrition I'm ingesting every day - I need a goal to hit and split it up with 6 smaller portions rather than grazing to the end of the day.
One thing that I must keep reminding myself of every day and every meal is that I started this to save my life. I got an email from an insurance agency today stating Kaiser turned me down again - so, I really don't have options. This is very scary and most of the time I try very hard to not think about it. I remember a Tony Robbins program I listened to in the 80s where he states "...make a decision to change and then take massive action toward it..." This keeps playing in my head over and over - I really need to stay on this path and I think that has become my mantra.
Through all of this change and the thoughts around it, I'm feeling happiness again. It's not an overwhelming state of being but rather it's the little things throughout the day that I notice - like preparing a healthy meal for myself, cleaning the bathroom in a timely manner, buying missing groceries, remembering it's my nephew's birthday on Monday and so on. This brings me back to the time my father died in 2008 and I was sitting in his ICU room with my brother after he passed and my mother and sister had left - I talked about the little miracles that happened around my father before he died. It was as if I never equated small, powerful miracles to being lucky or happy but now I'm back in that mindset and I see that this is a more sustainable path rather than the one I unconsciously think I must go down to get to the really big miracle or land of happiness.
Food
I'm completely in love with my Fiesta Bean Salad (recipe is on the Day 8 post). The problem is the portion control - I really need to cut the portion into a third of what I've been eating. I want to be sure I don't use this new found food love as a drug to replace the high-fat I used to eat. A good thing about this salad is that it has a lot of great ingredients and it fills me up.
Breakfast has evolved from a single piece of fruit, Ezekiel toast and jam to separate meals starting with a fresh and frozen fruit smoothie (see recipe below) and then toast with jam. The smoothie really fills me up and it's at least 4 servings of fruit. I will have fruit later in the day as well - usually cantalope.
My mother and I talked about Thanksgiving this year - my brother and his family rotate with families with this year being with us. I got excited and started a menu that will accommodate me (fat free vegan), my mother (non-vegetarian), brother (vegan/vegetarian), his wife (non-vegetarian) and his kids (flexitarians). Surprisingly, there are a lot of common ingredients that can be used so I don't see a problem.
I researched recipes online and found many that would work for all of us. Thanksgiving is usually a time of indulgence, even for healthy people but I can't afford to slip, not even for one meal. I'm confident that by planning ahead I'll have no problem eating a satisfying holiday meal even if I have to cook it all myself (wink).
What I ate today:
- Fruity Smoothie
- Ezekiel Raisin Bread w/sour cherry jam
- FF Pretzel Crisps
- Fiesta Bean Salad
- Pickles
- Rice Crackers
- Celery w/Bean Dip
- Cantalope
_________________________________________________
RECIPES
Fruity Smoothie
Ingredients:
- Frozen Banana chunks
- Fresh or Frozen Fruit:
- Pineapple
- Dark Cherries
- Mixed or individual Berries
- Peaches
- 8 oz Water or Non-Dairy Milk (I use Almond Milk)
- 1-2 drops pure Vanilla extract
- Honey - to taste (I squeeze until the count of 2 for a less sweet flavor)
Blend together on low until smooth but still has very small chunks - it's healthy to be able to chew it a little bit though it would be fine to blend until smooth. If over blended you'll end up aerating and it could cause flatulence (sorry, had to put that in there)
No comments:
Post a Comment