I'm definitely more on auto-pilot with the fat free vegan diet and lifestyle and that is freeing me up to do other things. In order to stave off boredom I have created a list of things that I need to work on - it's overwhelming, actually. I just hope I don't get frustrated or bored with the huge list because that also can trigger bipolar tendencies. It's great that I can identify these but painful when I can't act them out by moving and starting a new life wherever I land (ex., Sedona, Arizona; Hawaii; Washington). Staying put and working through all of my issues - family, financial and health - will prove to be life saving.
I had another IBS episode this afternoon and I'm not sure if it's due to what I ate or because I was stressed yet happy. When I get ahead of myself and see that my life is starting to go down a path I've wanted it to for a while now, it's scary - like I'm afraid to be happy again because I assume it will all be taken away at some point (old thoughts die hard). Just more for me to continue working on to be more self-actualized rather than self-deprecating and self-absorbed.
I became worried this afternoon after the episode because my back/heart was aching (no sharp pain but waves that stop me in my tracks). I wasn't sure if it was gastrointestinal in nature or if I was having heart issues - it's so hard to tell. All of the symptoms subsided after a few hours but I am still concerned that I'm experiencing heart problems. I need to call the State of California health resources provided by Kaiser when they turned me down for insurance. I don't want the surgeries but I do want to know the extent of the heart and artery problems that caused Kaiser to schedule me for surgery immediately.
I also need to go to Kaiser to see if I can do the blood work up that the primary doctor ordered for me over a month ago. I assumed I wasn't able to as a non-member but I received a reminder in the mail this weekend to get it done. I would love to know what my numbers are even though I have 1 month's worth of better eating under my belt.
I am monitoring my blood sugar on my own but I only do the fasting sugar first thing in the morning about 3 days each week. On Saturday my sugar was 111 which is still below the 120 borderline number. Ideally I could get this down to 100 by exercising more regularly and being more aware of sugar in my diet though I don't eat a lot of it.
FOOD
I'm still addicted to the cucumber and carrot maki sushi at Ahi Sushi in San Marcos. Their head chef has formal culinary training and he goes out of his way to make the best rolls for me. I had 2 rolls each for dinner last night and 1 roll each for lunch today. I could easily eat this lunch every day for the rest of my life.
I realize I need to eat other foods that are more nutritious but I've been having meat cravings - in particular, ground beef. Last Friday I bought 'Smart Ground' vegetable protein crumbles that are supposed taste and feel like ground beef. I came up with my 'FF Taco Rice' recipe (included on the 'Recipes' page - see the link on the upper right hand side of this page). I decided to make rice and then create a sauce using the vegie crumbles with a lot of other Mexican/Spanish ingredients that I would fold into.
The result was amazing - I really felt like I was eating ground beef both in flavor and texture. Of course I don't have the bloat that comes with eating red meat and oil - thankfully! I am so excited that I found this product because most of the vegan prepared "meatless" meals and patties have oil added. The Smart Ground product doesn't contain any fat so I can put it in anything that I would want a meat-like ingredient. I look forward to making an Asian version of the rice that includes soy sauce, sambal, garlic and mushrooms - yum!
I also purchased 'Smart Dogs' - a vegie protein hot dog and 'Smart Deli' bologna-style vegie protein. I think the Smart Dogs would go great in baked beans or chili and the bologna will make a great sandwich with jalapeno mustard, lettuce, tomato, onion and Ezekiel bread. I've really missed having sandwiches and this could be a great substitute. I wonder if I can pan fry (dry, that is) the bologna like I used to do with real beef bologna - I'll report my findings.
What I ate today:
- Fruity Smoothie (see recipe page link on upper right on this page)
- Rice crackers
- Bean Dip Salad (see recipe page link on upper right on this page)
- Soy cappuccino
- Pretzel sticks
- Bubbies
- Taco Rice (see recipe page link on upper right on this page)
- Celery and chipotle mustard
- Red seedless grapes
- Watermelon
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